I Hate College Basketball Purists

I prefer watching NBA games to college games. Its better basketball and if you disagree, debate the guy at your office who is 35 and still has roommates. I don’t dislike college basketball. I dont dislike people who like college basketball. College basketball is a ton of fun, plain and simple. I’m not here to argue the NBA vs College Basketball, because there is space to enjoy both  of them (and most rational people do). My beef is with the assholes who present college hoops as some sort of perfect, untouchable athletic achievement handed down from God after he finished creating the heavens and earth.

My biggest issue is that these people think they are morally superior for liking college basketball. They like college basketball because its “pure” and the players play for “love of the game”. If I hear one more person say that, I’m going to turn into Andy Bernard when he couldn’t find his cell phone that Jim hid. If you loved college basketball for that reason, you would be watching IUPUI play Western Illinois ($20 to anyone who knows what conference these two are in) on Saturdays. These are the same people that changed their profile picture on Facebook (they are also the same people who use Facebook)to them and the Eiffel Tower after the attacks in Paris and sent their “Thoughts and Prayers”. They want everyone to know they do things for the right reasons. The other part that drives me bananas is most of their reasons for liking CBB arent about CBB, they are trashing the NBA. “The players dont play hard”, “everyone is selfish”, “there is no passing”, “if I was in the NBA, I would play my hardest all of the time”. I have never once cared that someone does things for the right reasons (like my Fiances friend this weekend who explained she only east 1200 calories a day. Dont Caaaaaaare) or does them 100% all the time. I respect transparency alot more, which is why I like the NBA. The NCAA is the ultimate morally superior organization, so it makes sense why these people like it so much. I wish they would be honest like the rest of us; College Basketball is fun as fuck. Its dramatic (mainly because these are 18-22 year olds, so they are going to mess up) and the games are super entertaining. But acting like its a better product than the NBA because you want to try to show you are better than people makes you stink.

And my final point. Let me paint a portrait of someone i know who is a “college basketball purist”….

-His favorite team is Duke, but has no affiliation with the University whats soever (i should just stop right here)

-Changed his profile picture to him and the Eiffel Tour after the Paris attacks.

-He became a chiropractor, but refers to himself as a Dr.

-He quotes Dick Vitale.

-Never played basketball past 7th grade.

-He posts pictures of his legs laying on a beach chair by the pool with captions like “lazy sunday” and “its a hard knock life”.

-Makes Facebook posts about how America needs to start eating better.

-He checks into the airport when he goes somewhere once/twice a year.

-As an adult man, he cornered my sister in a bar on Thanksgiving Eve and asked her why I stopped hanging out with him.

So if you are a “college basketball guy” this is who you are friends with. I wish you all would get a bee hive dropped on your heads.

 

 

 

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